I was raised to pursue success as the ultimate road to happiness, but even after landing a high-profile journalism job at a big international organization, I didn’t feel it.
“Is this all there is?” I wondered as I commuted to the office. “Am I going to spend the next 40 years like this?!”
I felt like there had to be more to a good life than the external trappings of success. My parents were proud and my work was widely seen, but inside I was empty, anxious and depressed.
Thus began a personal quest to cultivate the kind of peace I could keep with me regardless of what was going on outside; regardless of what job I had, my appearance or my relationship status. I wanted to develop a steady internal fortitude that would keep me afloat during challenges and uplift me to genuine joy when things were going well.
I started going to therapy (Thanks, Dr. D!) and drenching my brain in self-help and spiritual books. I explored the connections between food and mood and upped the amount of exercise and sleep I was getting.
But this blog is the biggie. I’ve got reams of research on inner peace, and I’m putting all that stuff into practice here for the next year. Each week, I’ll explore a new theme or tactic for developing equanimity, share the research behind it and detail the practical applications in my own imperfect life.
A lifetime of neuroses and overthinking means I’ll probably never be a mountaintop meditator or dreamy peacenik. I just want to be calm enough not to yell at my windshield during freeway traffic or respond anxiously to iPhone pings like a Pavlovian pooch.
I hope this quest makes me kinder and more content, or at least more compassionate toward myself and others. And I don’t believe I’m alone in such desires, which is why I’m sharing my journey with you. I hope it makes us all feel more human and less alone.
With love and hope,
Sandy